Random funnies from the Dominican...

We met some interesting characters in the Dominican, most notably, our friend from the market who seemed to think he was some ultra trendy hip-hop fan. He was hard to miss, with his oversized Eminem tshirt and his sideways black hat with enormous sequined letters on it. As we approached him, we noticed something odd about his attire. My cousin approached him and asked:

"Hey, what does your hat say?"

"Rrrrap-eh," he said proudly and began immitating some drum beats and dancing.

We tried to suppress our laughter as we looked at his hat that clearly said RAPE in huge sparkly letters.

"No," my cousin said. "Your hat says 'rape.' Do you know what that means?" She then explains that his hat is actually an English word that means forcing someone to have sex with you. I chuckle in the background the entire time.

Unphased, he continues his sales pitches to various tourists as they hurry past his booth. Evidently, his English was not all that great. We saw him the next day wearing the same hat. Hilarious.

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At the resort we stayed at, some of the staff would routinely bring around exotic animals for tourists to hold and have their pictures taken with. Later you were to seek out your photo and purchase it for some outrageous price. There were parrots and iguanas and a snake but most exciting was a tiny monkey! So naturally, when the monkey came around, my cousins and I decided we needed our photos taken. Being mature and patient, we let the little cousins go first - Shevonne who's 5 and Christianne, 10. Shevonne holds out her hands and they place the monkey in her arms. Adorable. The monkey looks as if it's nuzzling up to her face when, all of a sudden, it lashes out angrily and bites her near her eye! They grab the monkey out of her hands and apologize as she tries not to cry.

We should have known to stop there but Christianne steps up.

They place the monkey in her arms and same thing. The monkey bites her in the ear. They grab the monkey out of her arms claiming the monkey is "loco crazy, needs rest." We immediatley assume it has rabies.

Okay, we should have been concerned over our cousins saftey but it was utterly hilarious. Maybe it was the rum. Maybe you had to be there. I still chuckle about it when I think of the rabid monkey bites.

Needless to say, I never held the monkey