Tuesday, November 07, 2006


"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
- Alan Cohen

I would love if I had this attitude about change but I've realized lately that I'm pretty averse to any drastic adjustments in my life. The thought of changing jobs, moving and starting something new, is intimidating and terrifying to me. I know I should embrace change and get excited about it, but my overwhelming feeling these days is that of anxiety and dread. As much as I dislike my current job, I often wonder if uprooting my life and moving somewhere else for a new job will be any better? Will I regret it? Will I wish I stayed in my secure position in my comfortable, roomy apartment in Waterloo? Does the grass just seem greener on the other side?

I'm afraid that my fear is going to paralyze me into inactivity. I seem to be really good at coming up with 700 negative reasons to turn down every opportunity that comes my way. I have a great potential job offer for a position I often dream about but somehow, I've practically dimissed it as an option before I've even had an interview.

I really need an attitude adjustment. My fear is irrational.


cms said...

Did you talk to Raj about Company N?

M said...

Yes, I did and he basically confirmed all my assumptions. The lack of stability is what frightens me the most. Although he said his dad has worked there for 20+ years. I sent them some writing samples this morning so we'll see what happens next...

Ian said...

Hello girls, miranda, a particularily inspiring book might be "The wisdom of insecurity" by alan watts.
He is my favorite writer. And even if you dont want to agree with what he says, it is still well written and enjoyable.

Sisko Brill said...

i know what you mean about overwhelming anxiety and dread.
these are emotions that drive the Capitalist society, you're supposed to be afraid and insecure. strong, confident people aren't easily manipulated.
make the change. conquer one more fear so you can get that much closer to freedom.

Mishy Pinchy said...

Emilie has a really cool book called 'Finding the open road,' about some college boys in the states who realized they didn't like their majors and had no idea where they were going in life. They rented a bus and road-tripped around the US interviewing successful people. It has some really inspiring stuff in it...check it out! :)